Best Passenger Ever

Before the talent show, an elderly man came over to us and asked Paul, “What are the three words that a married man never wants to hear while he's making love?” This prompted a joke-telling flurry, which also included “What's the difference between making love and a bowl of Cheerios?” * He then did two magic tricks. For the first one he pulled a handkerchief over his wrist and said, “watch, watch, watch” until he pulled off the handkerchief and revealed his watch. For the second one he held out his hands and told us to pick a finger. Then he said, “Wait. Let me mix 'em up” and wiggled all of his fingers. He was about five feet tall, wore glasses and hearing aids, and a red sweater that was tucked neatly into his dress pants. He told us that he had been married for sixty-four years and pointed to his wife, an elderly woman who was deliberately looking the other way. She later turned to us and said, “I have no idea who he is.” He said they've never had an argument, “because it hasn't been my turn yet!” He also had pictures of himself dressed up as a Cardinal and the Pope, which I think had been taken for a documentary on the History Channel, but I couldn't hear that whole story. I think we all had hopes of becoming friends with him on the last night of the cruise, but at the end of the talent show he and his wife got up and walked into the casino, and we never saw them again.

*The answers to the jokes are “Honey, I'm home” and “Come over to my place for breakfast and I'll show you.” We had a lively debate over the exact verbiage and meaning of the second punchline at dinner last night, so I might have gotten it wrong.