Birthdaymania

On Monday it was my birthday, and the ship decided to dock in Cozumel so everyone could celebrate. We got off the ship early and made our way through the stores in the downtown area. After this, we enjoyed a delicious lunch at a local, authentic, Mexican restaurant.

Following lunch, Paul, Sue, Beth, and I got in a cab to go to Playa Mia, a beach resort that one of the Shore Excursion guys recommended to us. This place was perfect. It had a floating “iceberg,” a large inflatable toy with rungs on its side, in the water and we quickly swam over to conquer it. But it proved to be a lot harder to climb than it had looked from shore. After a few minutes of floundering, Sue and I managed to get up, but then we found ourselves in the awkward position of helping two middle-aged British men up as well. These men were pretty forthright about demanding our help. I was sitting on one of the ledges of the iceberg, contemplating my past twenty-nine years on the planet, when one of the man’s arms shot into my view.

“Here,” he cried. “Grab my arm!”

I leaned over and pulled him up, pretending I was in the first scene of “Cliffhanger” and trying to save my best friend’s girlfriend from plummeting to her death. I expected that as soon as he got up to the ledge, he would try to climb to the top. Instead, he sat next to me and we awkwardly looked out at the ocean for the next few minutes. Then Sue made her way up, and we both helped her onto the ledge. This new addition spurred the man to make his way to the top, a process in which Sue almost took an aqua sock-clad foot to the temple.

After he left, Sue and I realized that we had to get off the iceberg quickly, since the man’s friend was fast scaling the side. Sue slid off, and then I followed, shouting, “You won’t beat me, Forty!” (Side note: I have two favorite bits right now. One is to pretend that I’m turning forty, in the hopes of people saying, “You look great for your age!” The other is whenever a sentimental song is playing on the radio, to say, “I sang that at my high school graduation.” Both bits are met with polite indifference by the public at large.)

After the iceberg all that was left to conquer was the trampoline bungee jump. I paid my eight dollars and then quickly got set up. The man running the whole operation was setting me up in the harness and making what I thought was polite conversation. He asked me where I was from, and I said Chicago, and then he asked me where my family was, and I said Massachusetts. I was somewhat taken aback that he was so interested in why my family wasn’t with me, but I figured that it was part of the Cozumel Customer Service that we’ve heard so much about. But he shook his head at my answer. “No,” he said, grabbing his crotch, “Your family.” Thus proceeded an awkward tightening of straps with which I’ll spare you the details.

The trampoline was much harder than I had anticipated, quickly turning my arms and legs to jelly. The kindly attendant quickly transformed into Bela Karyoli, demanding that I stick my landings, push off harder with my legs, and then perform a never-ending series of single, double, and triple flips (I never really mastered the triple flip – Bela kept shouting, “Flip faster!” – but there’s always next time). Even when I said that I had had enough, he made me do one more double flip before he let me down.

Sue got on next, and jumped for a couple of minutes, but the harness cutting into her thighs proved to be too painful to withstand. There was an awkward two seconds where we were all nervous that Bela wouldn’t let her down before she did her final demanded double flip, but he politely backed off and let her down.

That night we all ate at the Mexican restaurant on the ship, in keeping with the day’s theme. The waitstaff gave me a cake and sang “Happy Birthday,” which made me feel special. In all, it was a great day.

Me conquering 29



Sue doing her Ya-Ya Sisterhood Impression