Overstimulation, Or Even Emmy Winners Go Through Buffet Lines

Tuesday morning might have been one of the most amazing days of my life. First of all, I finally spotted the Bona Fide Celebrity at breakfast. She was eating with two teenagers who I assumed were her granddaughters. I thought about going over and introducing myself to her (sample icebreaker: “What was the best part about working with Stephanie Zimbalist?”) but I left her in peace, confident that my time to hear tales of Hollywood lore would come later.

We then went to the front of the ship to watch the shuttle launch. From where the ship was docked, we had a clear view of the shuttle across the water. The front was swamped with people, all of them fancying themselves Very Important Photographers who had staked out prime spots to capture the take off. I wanted to tell them that there would probably be very good pictures published in the newspaper the next day, but felt hypocritical since I had brought my camera as well. At first we thought we were going to have to watch it with the filthy animals (Sue’s nickname for the passengers), but then we climbed up into a crew only area that had an even better view. By the time I launched, all of our steward and ballroom dancing friends were there with their cameras. The launch itself was surreal to watch, and looked like an eraser attached to a fluorescent light bulb being trailed by a plume of smoke. Some of the passengers chanted “USA! USA!” but their cries were soon drowned out by Beth and Randall’s cheers of “Yay, Space!”

We then took a cab to the mall to see a movie. Our movie cycles are all askew because Randall and Jason broke rank last week and saw “Fantastic Four” last week (judge not, lest ye be judged). We decided on “The Island,” which was probably an equally poor choice. I was indifferent to the movie, but left with an overwhelming urge to buy the following products: Michelob Light, Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, Puma Sneakers, some rare and expensive BMW, Mack Trucks, MSN Explorer, some weird kind of Dodge car, and lots of Aquafina.