Two Exciting Things that Happened To Me At Atlantis

Two weeks ago my parents, aunt, uncle, and cousins spent the week in the Bahamas, so I was able to visit them on Thursday night when we were in port. I met them at Atlantis, which in case I haven’t talked about before is a high end hotel and casino in Paradise Island, about ten minutes away from where the ship docks. You might have heard about it in the media when Rob and Amber from Survivor and The Amazing Race had their televised wedding there and Britney Spears held an impromptu dance party there to promote one of her albums. My cousins have been going there for a few years and they have seen Heidi Klum and Ja Rule (separately) during there time there. I say all this not to be a celebrity namedropper, but to submit evidence as this is a place where the rich and famous mingle.

We were having dinner by the aquarium (Atlantis has the largest outdoor aquarium in the world. That might seem like a lot of qualifiers, but it is really impressive and is one of my favorite places to go on the cruise) when all of the sudden my cousin Jared, who is seventeen and normally pretty animated, suddenly got very quiet. We followed his line of vision and saw that he was staring at two gentlemen who had just sat at the table next to ours with their dates. With an impressive minimal movement of his lips, Jared was able to tell his older brother that Rasheed Wallis and another NBA player whose name I can’t recall now were in the restaurant. You might think that I’ve misspelled Mr. Wallis’ name because I don’t know a lot about the NBA, which is true, but also because I don’t want him to find this blog in case he does a vanity search on the Internet, and I am embarrassed of my actions later on in the evening.

We were all respectful of their privacy during the meal and allowed them to eat in peace. My mother noticed a lot of people unsubtly pretending to take a picture of the aquarium in the background, but really taking a picture of the two basketball players. I noticed that like the Emmy Winner from a few weeks ago, Mr. Wallis politely refused all autograph requests. Anyway, we ate our meals pretending that we didn’t notice the two NBA superstars and their championship rings next to us, and my mother and aunt pretended to carry on their conversation when in fact they were eavesdropping on the NBA superstars’ conversation. Even though both women are related only through marriage, they both possess an unparalleled ability to eavesdrop. They probably just heard what you thought right now, they’re that good.

After the NBA Superstars left, my cousin Jessica noticed that the straw Mr. Wallis had sipped from was still in his (now empty) strawberry daiquiri glass. We joked about going over and taking it, and pretty soon the jokes turned into dares, and the dares turned into loaded threats, and then I found myself walking over and grabbing the straw before the waiter could clear the table. Some of you might be thinking, “That’s a little much, Brendan,” and while I agree with you, I also argue that I was just trying to give a sports fan (my cousin Jared) a memento he would have forever, or throw away in horror a few hours later. I have no idea what ultimately happened to the straw.

After dinner, my dad, aunt, and cousins Adam and Bryanna (the only two who were above 19 and thus could gamble) went into the casino. Five days in proximity to Atlantis had turned my father into a faithful gambler, and he navigated his way to the dollar slots with surprising ease. My cousins lost their money early on, but thanks to some stern guidelines imposed by Bryanna, my father and I were able to come out ahead. He won about eighty dollars, and I won about five. I was elated.

Cut to last night. Beth and I decided to go over to Atlantis to try out the new ice cream shoppe that had opened there. Afterwards we were walking through the casino and I jokingly said we should gamble. She admitted she had brought twenty dollars, so we both sought out some lucky machines. I had a really good feeling about the one she sat down at, and was even going to insist that I play that one, but then decided the gentlemanly thing to do would be to allow her to have it. And also I didn’t want to look like I was crippled by obsessive compulsive disorder. I put in my twenty dollars and quickly watched eighty credits sink down to six. I was contemplating cashing out and putting my dollar fifty in another better machine, when it happened. I hit three sevens. I can’t describe the joy you experience when you hear that dinging and watch your credits climb and climb, so I won’t bother. I printed out my ticket and shouted, “We’re eating lobster tonight!” and went to get my SEVENTY-SIX DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS (total winnings = $56.50).